Written in March, 2011.
Dear Mom, As I write this to you, I'm sad that we can't share this conversation over an ecstatic phone call or a warm cup of coffee, but I'm comforted that I've found a way to continue my conversations with you. I am continually reminded of how strange this seems to others, but on days like today I can be nothing but thankful for this connection that I am able to keep with you.
I learned tonight that I am pregnant and in December, I will be a Mom!
I was instantly ecstatic, terrified, and then left with a small amount of sadness that this is one more journey I will not get to share with you. I was instantly hit with all of the wonderful things about you that my children will miss out on, something I had often thought of, but had not been faced with head on. I cried tonight as I held on to those memories and was flooded with the things that my children will not get to do with you, that your other grandchildren have. No sleepovers, camping trips, rocks to sleep.. none of it. You wont get to witness the growth of my stomach or feel the strong kicks of the little one inside of me or be there to hold my hand, because you know how much I hate hospitals.
I tell you this, because I want you to know how great I think you would have been. Though some of my thoughts have been sad, the majority have been ecstatic.. pure joy. A joy I did not even know I was capable of feeling. I have also spent time being thankful for the wonderful example you were to me and wondering if I will do things just like you, or be the complete opposite. You were sensitive and often lacked the ability to yell at me and would just smile and defend me explaining that I was typically a "good kid." You smothered me in hugs and kisses and I felt completely comfortable to tell you anything as I grew up, always being completely transparent with you. Those are the things I hope I am able to pass down to my children.
I honestly can not wait to be a mom. I consider it a privilege and one I definitely take seriously, since I only got to have mine for sixteen years. You were great mom, and I hope I will be too!
I love you,
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10 comments:
AH! Debbie, you have made me cry!
But I am so excited for you and Brian! You are going to make a wonderful mom. Congrats, can't wait to hear about your journey :)
Debbie - I'm so excited for you guys! You'll be a fantastic mom. :)
So exciting, congrats!
congratulations!
Yaaaayyy! So great!
Debbie I am so happy for you guys, your mom would of been proud of what you have accomplished and for the things you will take on in life. The only thing I can say is you are your mothers daughter and I see her in you. Wish you the best.
omg debbie i didnt think i would b able to get through this letter U have me balling. I think of your mom often
especially on April 2 as our birthdays are the same and i donate to cancer fundraisers continuously. You are in my thoughts often and u will make the best mommy ever It is the greatest blessing next to having grandchildren I luv and miss u always,
Claudia
Debbie, I am very excited for you and Brian!! I'm glad you have decided to write this blog to your mom! If I were in you're situation I would need to write this too!
Congrats!! So exciting! :)
Congratulations! Just think of all the new blogging material you'll have!!
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